So, the wedding drama continues. My sister called to ask for HLC's address and mentioned she was also inviting HLC's boyfriend, Jerry Bartz. I gave her the info, hung up, and then thought to myself, hmmm, wonder if I can bring a date. So, called back and got the "yeah, whatever." OK, so then I remember my mother suggesting several days ago that I book my room for the wedding so I don't have to find a ride home 15 miles up into the hills. I decide to book one for HLC, me, and my sister JJ (the non-bridezilla). I call my mom to see if she has any suggestions for which of the two hotels to stay at. When it comes up that I will be booking a separate room for JJ, my mother inquires as to why we couldn't just share. I tell her that I might bring a date. She then says, "Right, like who would you bring as a date," with utter disbelief and sarcasm in her voice. I lamely say, "i don't know, the sherrif maybe." She gives me the "well, whatever" dismissal and then we hang up.
While I'm shampooing my carpet again (yes, still obsessed), I continue to think about our conversation. And, the more I think about it, the angrier I get. Odds are I will not be bringing the Sheriff to the wedding. Odds are I won't have a date. Odds are that, if I did have a boyfriend, I wouldn't subject him to the horrible people that I'm forced to refer to as "my family." However, my mother's reaction was shitty, shitty, shitty. The wedding is in three months. It's possible that I may be so lucky as to trick some guy into dating me long enough to take him to my sister's wedding/my shitty birthday party. What a fucking bitch.
Thirteen days and counting till I'm on the express jet to hell. And I've just started tanning.
6 comments:
I have lost so much respect for your mother over the last year. - M.O.M.
Yeah, me too. she's a raving lunatic these days. Estrovan mustn't be helping.
if my grandparents weren't coming to visit me that weekend i'd be your date. i think you now must find a date to spite your mother. even if your date is female or just a friend. bring someone anyway just because.
summer
Oh, I assure you I will be bringing a date, male or female. Female may be better, as it just might be a good time to announce I'm a lesbian as I'm making my "toast" Steve Buschemi-Wedding Singer style. I can then recant the next day since, of course, I am not a lesbian.
Dude- I was just going to say - bring me as your lezbo date. It would confirm a lot that my parents have assumed for years as well. Fuckin' parents.
Deb, you are a definite in. I think you should come, regardless of whether I have someone to cuddle next to. Seriously, you're added to the guest list. I don't think HLC and Jerry Bartz are strong enough to hold me back from that microphone. Why is that, when you're single and close to thirty that everyone assumes you're a closet lesbian? My grandpa asked me, when I was 14 (at the most) if I had a boyfriend. When I said no, he said, "You don't like girls, do ya?!" And then, at 21, the same question was posed, and, when I said i did not have a boyfriend, he said, "it's ok. a lot of women these days don't get married." That just proves my family is fucked up for genetic reasons.
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