Monday, July 9, 2007
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Jeepers
So, I have another date next week with another guy. Here's the hang up, though. When discussing my "Lloyd Christmas" haircut over the phone, he said, "Well, Jeepers, it's still sexy though, right?"
Um, "jeepers?" Who says that? And who uses that in a sentence with the word "sexy?" He uses it other times, too, so it wasn't an isolated incident. I'm not sure I can date a guy who uses the word "jeepers." Am I wrong, here?
Um, "jeepers?" Who says that? And who uses that in a sentence with the word "sexy?" He uses it other times, too, so it wasn't an isolated incident. I'm not sure I can date a guy who uses the word "jeepers." Am I wrong, here?
Friday, July 6, 2007
Razor's Edge
So, I cut my hair last weekend. With a disposable bikini zone razor. Yeah, that's right, I did it. And I don't have to explain myself to anyone.
So, after a week, I decided I couldn't live with it anymore. I drove all the way to Bismarck today (had the afternoon off) to have it professionally fixed.
The results: I look like Lloyd Christmas from "Dumb & Dumber." OK, it's not that bad. But it's still pretty bad. And butch. I'm going to have to skip the glasses and wear makeup until it grows out.
It was actually better post-self-inflicted hair cut, pre-professionally fixed.
What a great week.
So, after a week, I decided I couldn't live with it anymore. I drove all the way to Bismarck today (had the afternoon off) to have it professionally fixed.
The results: I look like Lloyd Christmas from "Dumb & Dumber." OK, it's not that bad. But it's still pretty bad. And butch. I'm going to have to skip the glasses and wear makeup until it grows out.
It was actually better post-self-inflicted hair cut, pre-professionally fixed.
What a great week.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
An Orwellian Uprising
June 25: Huxley dug up (destroyed) HLC's carpet in her spare bedroom.
July 1: Oscar bit my hand. Within 8 hours, my hand was swollen, red and achy, a/k/a infected. Tetanus shot and a round of antibiotics should clear it right up.
July 3: Huxley locked himself in my running jeep while I was at the gas station. I had to have the dealership cut a new key and bring it to me across town, while I waited in the gas station parking lot.
July 5: So far, it's quiet. Everyone is sleeping, no doubt dreaming of ways to destroy me.
July 1: Oscar bit my hand. Within 8 hours, my hand was swollen, red and achy, a/k/a infected. Tetanus shot and a round of antibiotics should clear it right up.
July 3: Huxley locked himself in my running jeep while I was at the gas station. I had to have the dealership cut a new key and bring it to me across town, while I waited in the gas station parking lot.
July 5: So far, it's quiet. Everyone is sleeping, no doubt dreaming of ways to destroy me.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
HLC's Carpet: An Elegy
Oh, how I mourn thee, Orange Shag Carpet of the spare bedroom.
Your time on this earth, too long to be fashionable, has come to an abrupt end.
Your demise has been bittersweet for HLC, although only bitter for me.
Huxley hath destroyed you, ripped out your heart at the threshold of the room.
Huxley doth suffer, too, albeit not near as terrible as you.
For I look upon his scarlet face and his tender paws, and, alas, he too mourns.
He mourns as I mourn, for my face also scarlet upon the hearing the news.
And my paws, too, will be tender, as I remove thee from the scene of tragedy and give rise to a floor anew.
While pergo shall replace thee, I shall never forget thee.
For HLC shall never allow me.
Your time on this earth, too long to be fashionable, has come to an abrupt end.
Your demise has been bittersweet for HLC, although only bitter for me.
Huxley hath destroyed you, ripped out your heart at the threshold of the room.
Huxley doth suffer, too, albeit not near as terrible as you.
For I look upon his scarlet face and his tender paws, and, alas, he too mourns.
He mourns as I mourn, for my face also scarlet upon the hearing the news.
And my paws, too, will be tender, as I remove thee from the scene of tragedy and give rise to a floor anew.
While pergo shall replace thee, I shall never forget thee.
For HLC shall never allow me.
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