Sunday, December 3, 2006

Free Advice

1. Do not see the new holiday move, Deck the Halls. Brutal.

2. Do not take your young infant out to Applebees when it's -15F (before accounting for the windchill factor). No one cares about how cute your baby is and you are incredibly irresponsible.

3. It's not funny to swerve at bunnies crossing the highway. You are an asshole and you could easily hit a patch of ice, slip into another car on the highway, and kill real human beings, including yourself (which may not be all that bad).

4. If your two-year-old is crying in a movie theater, take him out to the lobby and calm him down instead of letting him continue to cry in the theater. Or, better yet, don't take him to a two-hour movie that starts at 9:30 p.m.

5. If your idea of decorating for the holidays includes putting one rope of holiday lights on one small tree (of many) outside your house, don't bother.

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