Isn't April over yet?

OK, so it's been awhile. A long, long while. Not much has changed, really. I went to Florida. I survived. I hate Disney World. I talk to Sky every day. Yes, every day. And I enjoy it. The naval officer came back from Turkey, and we had our second date. It was perfectly enjoyable, although he's sailing off to Israel for George Bush knows how long, so it's a moot point.

I had my first trial. Opposing counsel/drinking buddy Jen is a complete bitch. I knew she was nasty in court before, but I thought she'd at least play by the rules. Nope. She tried to fuck me by failing to honor a gentleman's agreement and introducing a settlement agreement into the Court (which is inadmissible all by itself but, combined with her word, should have left it unmentioned in front of the judge). She then lied to the judge about the status of the law during closing arguments after she knew I wasn't allowed to present further argument.

However, despite her underhandedness, I came away with a huge win. Full custody AND spousal support. So, for once, good triumphed over evil.

Which brings me to the last few days.

Thursday.
1. I found out I won my trial on Thursday.

2. I drove five hours to Siouxland for the State Dem Convention and a firm-sponsored law lecture at the local law school.

3. I was driving while I was on the phone with my secretary, who is in serious need of a brain transplant, and, in venting my frustration, I unknowingly pushed down on the accelerator. And drove past a highway patrolman. I was cited for traveling 92 mph in a 75 mph zone. The ticket is only $85. However, I got 5 points (limit is twelve) on my driver's license. I could have probably mowed down a baker's dozen of kindergartners in a school crosswalk right before their christmas pageant and received less points.

4. I was driving through campus at Not Harvard University, trying to find a parking spot for the law lecture. I came to a dead stop behind a perfectly nice chevy cavalier while students were crossing the street. And, then I was struck from behind by a perfectly nice pontiac grand prix. Which shoved me into the cavalier. The jeep fared well (although I'm sure there's still $2k worth of damage), but the cars both looked like accordions in their respective impact zones. The grand prix driver admitted he wasn't watching, the police came, he got cited, and we went on our merry way. I actually have the imprint of the grand prix's grill, pontiac arrowhead emblem included, stamped into my bumper. I am positive the guy who rammed into me, and rammed me into the cavalier, received less points for his transgression than me.

5. I attended the law lecture and got a parking ticket.

6. I went to ER to get checked out and was given percocet for my burgeoning back injuries.

7. The percocet made me throw up.

Friday

1. I drove to Derby (2.5 hours away from Siouxland) to visit with a client at the jail.

2. I'm pretty sure I was high from the percocet for half of my drive.

3. The meeting was an hour longer than expected, so I was late getting back to Siouxland for the State Dem Convention.

4. I stopped by the Convention Center to get my registration before I went back to the hotel to make myself beautiful for Barack and Hillary. I had a little less than 1.5 hours to get the registration, get ready, and get back for a $100 fundraiser (prepaid, of course) for Barack. He was going to appear in person at the fundraiser. My registration was lost and, in addition to being belittled for not signing up in time (six weeks in advance, although they all thought I became a delegate at the last minute so I could sit closer to Barack), I had to spend almost an hour straightening out the mess. Then, as I was about to leave, we noticed my banquet ticket (also prepaid) wasn't there. They were out. Despite the fact that mine was already paid for and assigned to me. Yup, out. I'm getting my $30 back; I don't care if it's a political donation.

5. I missed the $100 Barack fundraiser.

6. The rest of the night was awesome; I was within about 10 feet of both Barack and Hillary.

7. I threw up from the percocet.

Saturday

1. I woke up with the plague. Coughing so hard my abs still hurt. Or is that from the car accident? Can't tell. I spent the day sleeping in mine and Tiki's hotel room and I missed the convention. And the banquet, but that was already a given.

2. I watched KU stomp North Carolina in my hotel room with my sister, Jenny.

3. I did not throw up from the percocet.

Sunday

1. Tiki decided not to go to the convention, so I skipped out on it, too. I did not cast one ballot, despite my designation as a delegate for my district.

2. Tiki and I treacherously caravaned through the state's east coast in a snowstorm, traveling 35 mph at times. We safely made the 250 mile trip home.

3. I made it home, picked up the dog and played with the cats.

4. I took some percocet and tried to go to sleep.

5. I did not throw up from the percocet.

6. I did not sleep from the percocet.

Monday
1. I was still awake from Sunday, so I actually billed three hours from 2 a.m. to 6 a.m.

2. I finally fell asleep at 7 a.m.

3. I went to work at 11:30 a.m.

4. I tried to play catchup at work and planned to go to a sports bar to watch KU's first championship game appearance since I was in law school.

5. My friends, unbeknownst to me, cancelled our plans to watch the KU game, inviting me over to watch it at home.

6. I declined. I would rather watch it by myself than listen to Richard yell at the TV in his thick north dakota accent.

7. I went to the doctor re: my whiplash and my plague. I have a viral upper respiratory infection. And whiplash. So he gave me muscle relaxers and cough syrup with codeine.

8. The muscle relaxers don't work.

9. KU is up by three points right now.

So, to some it up: Go Jayhawks! And fuck April.