Just phoning it in.

So, today was a big day. It is my two year anniversary from getting canned by Evil Spawn and His Incompetent Twin, P.C. And, as luck (fate) would have it, I had a meeting with my mentor. It was an opportunity to tell me everything I'm doing wrong. This was not relayed ahead of time, although I assumed it would be what it was because, well, I'm me. Anyway, we went to the bar and he pulled out a list of complaints written down on a piece of notebook paper. They are listed in order of importance and level of concern, with 1 being the greatest concern.

1. Facetime. My commitment to the M has been questioned because I'm not there enough. It seems that the staff and some of the attorneys (yes, I said staff) doesn't believe that I put in enough time to make them feel as though I really want to work there. So, to make everyone feel better about themselves, I need to be there from 8:45 a.m. to 5:30 every day, and no leaving for anything in the middle.

I pointed out that I've been doing "lawyer" things when I've been out of the office and Partner said that he knew that, but I maybe shouldn't do those things for awhile. Seriously. Apparently, it was a big mistake for me to go to the state bar association events that our firm encouraged us to go to. I've been to Siouxland twice in the last month and, apparently, that has ruffled some feathers because I'm galavanting across the state to make it look like both me and the firm are involved in the legal community. I was actually rear-ended on my way to one of those events, but still I went.

Which brings me to my next "excuse" for being out of the office: I was rear-ended. This resulted in several doctor appointments that had to happen before 5 p.m.

Oh, yeah, and I was out of the office for my TRIAL. That I won.

The Partner then said it's probably just the perception and it doesn't really matter to anyone that I'm actually working when I'm gone. Which is why I shouldn't do any bar activities or CLEs (i.e. education that I need to be a better attorney and I'm ethically obligated to attend) and things of that nature for at least 6-7 months.

So, because I'm out of the office working, the M questions whether I want to work there because I'm gone so frequently. Working.

2. I don't ask the partners for help.

Now, you think this would come after I screwed something up and did so because I didn't have the expertise to handle it myself. Nope, nothing wrong with my quality of work. The partners just think I should, as an associate, need more help. I'm supposed to ask partners who have never spent one day practicing family law for help. With my family law cases.

Here's the problem: I have asked for help multiple times. And I rarely get it. Partner is my mentor and, no shit, this is what happens when I ask for help.

Me: [timid knock on his door] Do you have 5 minutes for me?
Partner: No.
Me: [blank stare, unsure what to do next].
Partner: [sigh] I'll find you in a few minutes to see what you need.
Me: OK, that'd be great.
Partner: [never to be seen again].

He did say that it's his fault that he isn't more available, but that I need to make him listen to me and make him help me, even when he's too busy. So, apparently, the conversation should be as follows:

Me: [kick open office door and storm in] I need some help.
Partner: [surprised look on his face] No.
Me: No, I'm not fucking around this time. I need some fucking help.
Partner: No, I really don't have time.
Me: [sitting in chair] I'm not leaving until I get some help.
Partner: I am in the middle of something. I will come find you.
Me: I'm not falling for that one again. I'll just sit here until you're ready to deal with me.
Partner: Get out!
Me: No!
Partner: [calls security]

3. Time
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking they're upset about my billable hours. Nope. Wrong. I need to have my time entered before the end of the month. Before the bill cut off. Before I even bill it, maybe. See, we have a fee entry cut-off. No bills go out before then. So, me being logical, I don't enter my time into the computer program (I keep track on paper during the month) until the day before it's due. Apparently, this is not the right way to do things. I'm not entirely sure of the point of this, but it pisses them off.

4. Communication & Deadlines
I need to communicate with partners better, especially if I'm going to miss a deadline on one of their projects.

That's great, except (1) I don't do projects for other attorneys and, (2) I haven't missed a deadline.

I think, in all honesty, this is a firm-wide problem partners have with associates, so it was lumped in with all the other shit just as an FYI.

So, the bottom line, is that I love my job. Love it, love it, love it, love it.

I'm not sure what to do about court appearances. Maybe I can phone it in. Just like I've apparently been doing all along.