Ok, so it's not so much a rush of blood to the head as it is a rush of adrenalin to the stomach. Today, the only person that's ever given me actual butterflies in my stomach emailed, which gave me butterflies in my stomach for the second time in my life. My ex-boyfriend from law school, Rivers, emailed to tell me that his mother's life partner died and he's getting divorced. They have been separated since July, which is about the same time Joyce became ill.
I haven't had any telephone or email contact with him since probably 2005. It's been so long that I can't even remember how long it's been.
His email jokingly noted that I've moved up on the list (of potential Mrs. Rivers candidates). My thought, which was later relayed to him, was that, while he was divorcing my replacement (started dating her when I was on my way out of town), I certainly wasn't going to be her replacement.
Nonetheless, I took the bait. I told him to call so we could catch up. And he did. We talked for almost an hour. What's weird is that it wasn't weird. I knew the sound of his voice instantly, and we just talked about everyday things. And, I still find him funny and fun to talk to. Ugh.
He asked me to come visit him if I'm ever down his way. I told him no and, besides, I'd just been to St. Louey, so it would be awhile nonetheless (unless the 8th grants oral arguments - cross your fingers!). He then suggested he may be able to come up here. Um, ok, sure. I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't have to say it!
And the pendulum swings backwards.
6 comments:
How have his little habits come along? I remember he was the cause of a very scary night in St. Louie not to mention the cause of a lot of other unpleasent things. Sorry, it's just the concerned mom in me.
He's apparently been cleaned up for quite some time. I don't know if that's really true, but it sounded like the marriage broke up because she found someone else. She moved out this summer, and took the dog. They had just bought a house.
NOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Do not pass GO, go directly to your therapist and tell her you have finally gone off the deep end. If you let him visit you or you visit him you are engaging in the MOST destructive behavior short of slitting your own wrists possible. I refuse to sit on the floor of the bathroom of the red lion and cry about him ever again. you can't do this to yourself. you are worth more than him.
ravenlou
I love him. Yup, there, I said it. I thought it was over, but I have that heartsick pain in my stomach thing going on already. I didn't have that feeling when John emailed me a few weeks ago. I didn't have that feeling when I found out my other ex-boyfriend lives a few blocks from me now. I certainly didn't have that feeling when I hooked up with Patrick over Labor Day weekend. So, it's not just that it's familiar or that I'm lonely. And it's not that I'm unmedicated, which is what I used to think. It's actually him. It's been 5 years, and I'm right back in it.
Just preceed with caution, PLEASE! I love you too much to see him hurt you again. I've been down this road before and the second break-up is harder than the first.
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