The Bride is Coming! The Bride is Coming!

OK, so HLC is the latest victim of the marriage scam. We need to help her pick out her shoes for the wedding. Yea!!!! This is my favorite part of the blog. Anyway, please submit your comments and preferences so we can help HLC pick out the right glass slipper.



Likes:

Door Number 1: Alfani "Nicki" Evening Sandal
Likes.
Dislikes
Where you might find me on a Friday night: Macy's.



Door Number 2: Women's Coloriffics Carmen
Where I'm doing my walk of shame on a Sunday morning. Amazon.com



Door Number 3: Women's Coloriffics Desire
Amazon.com



Door Number 4: Nina Fiore Bridal Shoes
http://www.bellissimabridalshoes.com/



Door Number 5: Liz René Addison Bridal Shoes
http://www.bellissimabridalshoes.com/



Door Number 6: Blue Tux Nicole Bridal Shoes



Door Number 7: Touch-ups Amy Bridal Shoes



Door 8 Grace Aria Bridal Shoes



Door Number 9 Touch-Ups Peyton Bridal Shoes

Bush League

I was on a panel today that spoke to law students in Siouxland. There were seven attorneys on the panel. And about 20 law students showed up, out of 150-200. That is absolutely unacceptable. The dean apologized, saying they had "program fatigue." Yeah, well, I have life fatigue, but I hauled my ass 250 miles out there to give them young lawyer advice. He further explained they just had a program last week, as if to say that two one-hour programs two weeks in a row was a lot to ask of them. Yeah, you know what, I was at that one, too. And only about 40 students showed up to that one.

I also spoke to the lawyer liason for the mentor/mentee program between the state bar association and the Siouxland law school today. He asked if I'd had much contact with my mentee. I explained that I emailed, she emailed back, I emailed again, and that was it. He told me that seemed to be everyone's experience. HLC's mentee didn't even return her email. I, too, have heard that at least two other lawyers received no response at all.

I don't know what's wrong with these law students, but they have a serious problem if they think they can blow of members of the bar and still land great jobs. We have the smallest bar in the country. And they're at a tier 4 law school. The arrogance of the students at that place is astounding. It might be the only game in town, but that's not enough. They fail to understand that they are competing for a very limited number of jobs, all within a very connected network of firms, with people like me, HLC, and my co-worker, Haley, who all came back to the state after getting edumucated elsewhere. Haley went to Yale. HLC and I did not, but we went to better schools than the one in Siouxland.

To hear it from their side, we swooped in and took "their" jobs. This they bitch about, complaining that it's patently unfair because they've paid their dues by attending school in state. Um, I'm sorry. I spent 18 years in this shithole before I came back to get a job. So did HLC. So did Haley. And, Haley, HLC and I did not have the opportunity to network with, or clerk for, attorneys at the state's flagship firms during law school. We all came in cold, with nothing more than the strength of our resumes and a local hometown, long since abandoned, behind us. Yet, we took three of the most coveted jobs in the state. Actually, four, if you count two of my three jobs here. Not surprisingly, the Magic City job I just left behind is monumentally uncoveted.

They can't beat us on the education. But they should be able to beat us, hands down, on the networking side of things. And, let's be honest, the second is more important, in most cases. Yet, they still blow it off. I don't know what's going on up there, but it just doesn't seem good. They can't write, they don't know the law, and they have a grossly inflated image of their abilities and strengths. They can't even submit resumes that are free of typos.

It's entirely possible the brain drain has virtually stripped the state of an entire generation of legal talent. I don't notice it so much with the attorneys that have been practicing for 15+ years. Whether that's a product of experience or an indication of a decline in the quality of Siouxland's program, I can't say. I do know this, though. If we had a better law school, we'd have better lawyers. Once the talent is lured out by better educational opportunities, it's extremely difficult to draw them back in. I'm here due to an series of accidental missteps. It wasn't ever my plan to come back. Ever. But that's a different topic altogether.

I need to issue a disclaimer. I know I sound arrogant by writing this post. Admittedly, I am not F. Lee Bailey, for two reasons: (1) I am not nearly as talented as him, and (2) I have not been disbarred. However, I have gone head to head with many a Siouxland grad, and worked beside them, and I am confident that my law school education was of higher quality. Am I smarter? Maybe. But you can be the smartest person in the room and still be handicapped by your education. I have also worked with HLC and Haley, and it's also clear that their skills and abilities are much greater than those of Siouxland grads of similar vintage.

Dear Dean of Siouxland Law: For the love of god, please put some effort into creating a better law school. I get tired of practicing against ill-prepared, arrogant lawyers. I can't take another thirty years of this, especially when you consider the good lawyers will only be around for another 10-15 years. I'd rather enjoy having a worthy opponent almost every time instead of every once in awhile. And, as is obvious by reading this post, I could use some humility by being beaten by one every now and again, too.

Fender-Bender-Bender Status Report

Well, the muscle relaxers are ridiculous. I asked Dr. Bones if she'd perform an exam to evaluate my car accident issues before the needle attack. She obliged, and performed the same exam as last week (pre-accident). It's amazing how different it was than last week. I'm more f-ed up than I thought. She did some adjustments, and deduced that both my lowest vertebrae and public bone were out of place. It was a little weird to get undressed in a chiropractor's office, but.... OK, I'm only kidding.

My back pain has been pretty constant since the night of the accident. It's in my middle and lower back, radiating out into my entire back and up to my shoulder blades and tops of shoulders by the neck. It also hurts to sit, stand and walk. I have some abnormal ankle swelling (in my good ankle, and didn't even wear heels today.
I certainly will not be going to the gym anytime soon. Which sucks because I'll probably have to become bulimic to look sassy at HLC's wedding. As long as I keep getting percocet, I should have my wish come true.

I have to admit that I felt better once I walk ed out of Dr. Bone's office. However, that was fleeting since it hurts everywhere again. who knew?

Best part is that I get massages covered by insurance. I've been jonesing for a massage since Friday to help my back, but didn't want to pay for it.

OK, I'm a mess. that's the bottom line. I took a percocet and, instead of throwing up, I spewed words into my abandoned blog.

Carey

Sleepless in Seattle

I've decided it's time for desperate measures with regard to the insomnia, so I'm receiving acupuncture treatments with a chiropractor, Dr. Bones. It comes with a free tarot card reading and we burn incense while chanting and rubbing crystals over our faces.

My first visit was last week. Dr. Bones performed an all-over body exam to see if anything was out of whack. Aside from a pelvis that seemed out of place, and some minor tension in my shoulders and neck, I was relatively in place. Dr. Bones did a few adjustments and then moved on to the acupuncture. It's too soon to tell if it'll work; it may take 3-5 treatments before I start to notice.

My 2nd treatments was today. The needles are placed in the following places: outer wrist, inner wrist, index finger joint, shoulders, and stomach. Weird, and it hurt more today than yesterday. Perhaps related to the accident.

Dr. Bones made a preliminary diagnosis of adrenal fatigue syndrome. The symptons online are pretty compelling when I take a personal inventory. One of the factors is difficulty getting up in the morning, along with feeling tired between 9 and 10 p.m. but resisting going to sleep. Dry skin and a heart murmur are also factors, in addition to inability to lose weight and serious sugar cravings. It may includes other character flaws, including bossiness, impatience, spending sprees and animal hoarding. The problem is that it is difficult to treat - mostly involving changes in diet, sleeping from 10 p.m. to 9 a.m. (no shit, that's srongly recommended), no caffeine and eliminating all stress. Um, I can maybe do one of those things, but not all of them.

So, thinking perhaps I found the answer, I did some online research. Mayo Clinic does not believe adrenal fatigue syndrome actually exists as a medical condition. Well, that fucking figures. It's a more of holistic diagnosis, and I think it's probably similar to chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia as far as being medically accepted.

Regardless of whether I have an adrenal gland issue, I realized I need to start looking into the physical cause (word? physiology? Neuropathy?) of my ailments. I've been treating with a psychiatrist for about four years. Clearly, it's not just in my head. Dr. Bones will refer me to a real doctor who also practices in chinese medicine and may or may not believe in adrenal glad fatigue.

So, then I decided on my own to finally get a real doctor so, whenever I got to the clinic, I don't have to see the disappointed stare whenever I get that question. They certainly don't like "you guys" when you're at Urgent Care at 9 p.m. Anyway, I have a date with a family practitioner for the first time since high school. We meet in a month, and I hope she knows what she's doing and not blow me after deciding it's stress. Right. Stress. Despite being medicated to the point where you'd think I was on a soma holiday all day every day. Over the years, I've brought up the insomnia/can't get up/weight gain thing to other doctors, but they've just brushed me off as being anxious and stressed out (because I had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder - nice, huh?)

If the acupuncture treatments don't work, I'm headed off to an MD that also practices in traditional chinese medicine too, per Dr. Bones' suggestion.

And, finally, each hospital here has MD's that practice in sleep medicine. I plan to have at lest one sleep study done before year end, if not two. As you may recall, I had a sleep study done in Minot. Their conclusion: you do not have sleep apnea. Frankly, I'm just lucky they didn't accidentally kill me or steal a kidney while I was knocked out from the sleeping pill they made me take so they could figure out if I had sleep apnea. Still, it was quite strange waking up in a tub of ice with a telephone and a note instructing me to call 911.....

Rock Chalk Jayhawk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They won, they won, they won, they won, they won!

I came in 2nd in my office bracket pool, so I'm pocketing a cool $50! And, I came from the bottom 20% after the first round to win!

And, even better, I finally won my own bracket pool! I had 50 correct picks, and my South regional bracket remained flawless.

If I knew my bumper wasn't being replaced, I would put my jayhawk bumper sticker on it.

Damnit!

So, the night got even better. My naval officer showed up at the bar tonight, looking for me. The bar where I was supposed to watch the game. But didn't because my friends suck. Because they cancel on me when it's too late to contact every one I've invited to warn them that the plans have changed.

And, now I'm home in my pajamas. With whiplash. And a respiratory infection. In my pajamas. Bitter. So bitter.

Isn't April over yet?

OK, so it's been awhile. A long, long while. Not much has changed, really. I went to Florida. I survived. I hate Disney World. I talk to Sky every day. Yes, every day. And I enjoy it. The naval officer came back from Turkey, and we had our second date. It was perfectly enjoyable, although he's sailing off to Israel for George Bush knows how long, so it's a moot point.

I had my first trial. Opposing counsel/drinking buddy Jen is a complete bitch. I knew she was nasty in court before, but I thought she'd at least play by the rules. Nope. She tried to fuck me by failing to honor a gentleman's agreement and introducing a settlement agreement into the Court (which is inadmissible all by itself but, combined with her word, should have left it unmentioned in front of the judge). She then lied to the judge about the status of the law during closing arguments after she knew I wasn't allowed to present further argument.

However, despite her underhandedness, I came away with a huge win. Full custody AND spousal support. So, for once, good triumphed over evil.

Which brings me to the last few days.

Thursday.
1. I found out I won my trial on Thursday.

2. I drove five hours to Siouxland for the State Dem Convention and a firm-sponsored law lecture at the local law school.

3. I was driving while I was on the phone with my secretary, who is in serious need of a brain transplant, and, in venting my frustration, I unknowingly pushed down on the accelerator. And drove past a highway patrolman. I was cited for traveling 92 mph in a 75 mph zone. The ticket is only $85. However, I got 5 points (limit is twelve) on my driver's license. I could have probably mowed down a baker's dozen of kindergartners in a school crosswalk right before their christmas pageant and received less points.

4. I was driving through campus at Not Harvard University, trying to find a parking spot for the law lecture. I came to a dead stop behind a perfectly nice chevy cavalier while students were crossing the street. And, then I was struck from behind by a perfectly nice pontiac grand prix. Which shoved me into the cavalier. The jeep fared well (although I'm sure there's still $2k worth of damage), but the cars both looked like accordions in their respective impact zones. The grand prix driver admitted he wasn't watching, the police came, he got cited, and we went on our merry way. I actually have the imprint of the grand prix's grill, pontiac arrowhead emblem included, stamped into my bumper. I am positive the guy who rammed into me, and rammed me into the cavalier, received less points for his transgression than me.

5. I attended the law lecture and got a parking ticket.

6. I went to ER to get checked out and was given percocet for my burgeoning back injuries.

7. The percocet made me throw up.

Friday

1. I drove to Derby (2.5 hours away from Siouxland) to visit with a client at the jail.

2. I'm pretty sure I was high from the percocet for half of my drive.

3. The meeting was an hour longer than expected, so I was late getting back to Siouxland for the State Dem Convention.

4. I stopped by the Convention Center to get my registration before I went back to the hotel to make myself beautiful for Barack and Hillary. I had a little less than 1.5 hours to get the registration, get ready, and get back for a $100 fundraiser (prepaid, of course) for Barack. He was going to appear in person at the fundraiser. My registration was lost and, in addition to being belittled for not signing up in time (six weeks in advance, although they all thought I became a delegate at the last minute so I could sit closer to Barack), I had to spend almost an hour straightening out the mess. Then, as I was about to leave, we noticed my banquet ticket (also prepaid) wasn't there. They were out. Despite the fact that mine was already paid for and assigned to me. Yup, out. I'm getting my $30 back; I don't care if it's a political donation.

5. I missed the $100 Barack fundraiser.

6. The rest of the night was awesome; I was within about 10 feet of both Barack and Hillary.

7. I threw up from the percocet.

Saturday

1. I woke up with the plague. Coughing so hard my abs still hurt. Or is that from the car accident? Can't tell. I spent the day sleeping in mine and Tiki's hotel room and I missed the convention. And the banquet, but that was already a given.

2. I watched KU stomp North Carolina in my hotel room with my sister, Jenny.

3. I did not throw up from the percocet.

Sunday

1. Tiki decided not to go to the convention, so I skipped out on it, too. I did not cast one ballot, despite my designation as a delegate for my district.

2. Tiki and I treacherously caravaned through the state's east coast in a snowstorm, traveling 35 mph at times. We safely made the 250 mile trip home.

3. I made it home, picked up the dog and played with the cats.

4. I took some percocet and tried to go to sleep.

5. I did not throw up from the percocet.

6. I did not sleep from the percocet.

Monday
1. I was still awake from Sunday, so I actually billed three hours from 2 a.m. to 6 a.m.

2. I finally fell asleep at 7 a.m.

3. I went to work at 11:30 a.m.

4. I tried to play catchup at work and planned to go to a sports bar to watch KU's first championship game appearance since I was in law school.

5. My friends, unbeknownst to me, cancelled our plans to watch the KU game, inviting me over to watch it at home.

6. I declined. I would rather watch it by myself than listen to Richard yell at the TV in his thick north dakota accent.

7. I went to the doctor re: my whiplash and my plague. I have a viral upper respiratory infection. And whiplash. So he gave me muscle relaxers and cough syrup with codeine.

8. The muscle relaxers don't work.

9. KU is up by three points right now.

So, to some it up: Go Jayhawks! And fuck April.