So, I leave the office at noon to head out to the Windy City for the M's holiday party. I have to pack, get the dog to the kennel, go to the bank, fill gas, drive 190 miles, shower, iron and get to the holiday party before 6 p.m. So, I hop into my Jeep, turn the key and....nothing happens. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit.
After my phone calls were ignored by my dad, brother-in-law, and sister, I was able to reach my friend Brandon. He promptly showed up with jumper cables and a good attitude about the situation. After nearly freezing to death in the 20-30 minutes it took to get the car started, we decided I should get a new battery from the dealership so I wouldn't die of exposure on the highway. We made it three blocks before the Jeep decided it didn't want to run again. It died in the middle of the street. DAMNIT!
Well, 2.5 hours, a police officer, some near-frostbite, a tow truck, a new battery, $210 and raging headache later, I was finally on the road. I drove 90 m.p.h. and popped four excedrin. It was 10 below when I rolled into Fargo at 5:30 p.m. and, admittedly, I was a little sick and jittery from the excedrin. I didn't get to the party until 6:45, but I managed to roll in with about five other people and no one noticed.
As a testament to how much Fargo sucks, let me tell you how cold it was there. It was so cold that, when I spilled a diet coke in my jeep, it froze instantly. The air temp was ten below before 6 p.m. I managed to ply myself with enough alcohol that I walked the four blocks back to the hotel with only a jacket (no hat, gloves, or scarf) and even smoked outside with no coat. It wasn't until 2:30 a.m., after I flipped on the television, that I realized it was about 30 below with the windchill. Hmmmm, it didn't seem that bad, despite the fact that my necklace was so cold it made my chest ache. Fargo sucks. That's a fact.
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