After reading a friend's blog, I decided to join her by posting six things weird things about me that most people may not know.
1. I'm scared of possums. Yup, the animal that, when confronted, plays dead.
2. I loathe washing dishes so much that I threw away almost all of my dishes, pans, utensils, etc., from my last apartment when I moved because I couldn't bring myself to wash them. I refuse to admit how long they'd been in need of a drop of Palmolive (and an industrial strength dishwasher or sander).
3. I sleep with a down comforter in the summer (and spring, fall & winter), but have to have at least one leg out as a body heat regulator.
4. I used to be the ultimate L.A. Lakers fan in Junior High. I had the jacket, the earrings, the love. I used to cover my notebooks with the names of all the players and their numbers. I knew their statistics, their positions, their height, everything. I even know, to this day that non-factor reserve forward/center Eldon Campbell's jersey number was 45. My favorite player was Vlade Divac, #12, kind of because no one else would ever pick him as their favorite and I had to be different. I also liked Byron Scott, #4, but mostly because he was [is] one fine piece of athletic ass.
5. I can recite Pi to nine decimal points because I memorized it once in Junior High (for no good reason) and it's stuck. 3.141592654.
6. The Ultimate Weirdness: My guilty pleasure is crappy Television. (read examples to understand enormity of problem)
When I went to law school, I tried to hide my dirty little secret. After all, I was going to a place where no one knew my affinity for Welcome Back, Kotter and Quantum Leap. Finally, a clean slate. A fresh start. A chance at a new life.
"Joe Lies, Joe Lies" ['I have written 63 songs this year, all about Joe']
-Say Anything
During my first year, I was befriended by Summer Ayers, who approached me a few weeks into law school to inquire about my cast (I fell in a hole). Despite sensing the ambulance chaser vibe - i see her in class every day for weeks and NOW she says hello to me? - I gratefully accepted her as one of my first friends (I'd already been warmly accepted by CandyManVandyFan). Wichita Dawn was soon to join, even though she'd previously spurned my advances at conversation shortly after we entered the 1st circle of Hell. Soon, we were the best of friends, lounging on the patio outside, smoking together in the "cubby hole" on windy days, having lunch at the student union, etc.
However, I would frequently beg off lunch with Wichita Dawn and Summer Ayers a couple days a week, sneaking away to satisfy my needs. I covered my tracks with lies of homework and a need for a nap between early morning K and afternoon Torts. I wanted to tell them, but I just couldn't. I had very little street cred with them, as our relationship was so nascent. As an outsider, I needed to protect myself and my budding social life. I was new to the Big 12 arena. I didn't know what "Rock. Chalk." meant. I hadn't heard the term, "sorostitute" ever in my life. My accent still sounded suspiciously, "up north," as was pointed out to me everyday by some yahoo from places like Chilacothee, Joplin or Oskaloosa. So, I slunk away each time, hoping that my lies weren't detected or had given Wichita Dawn & Summer the sense that I no longer wanted to be "in."
So, each day, I secretly lived for the TLC Quintessential Quadruple Crown of daytime TV: A Makeover Story, A Dating Story, A Wedding Story and a Baby Story. With the door locked and the shades drawn, I nervously chain-smoked, alternating between feelings of contentment, guilty, and fear of discovery. I had wild visions of SA & DW innocently venturing over to my apartment, walking unassumingly through a neglectfully unlocked door, and immediately ending their friendship with me.
Then, I started drinking more and going to class less, so it wasn't an issue. I found a new passions: TGITs and hot Oklahoma/Kansas/Missouri boys, with an Australian thrown in their once for fun.
Confession Part II; Trapped in the Closet
Eventually, my addiction caught up with me again. This time, it would be a conspiracy. As if by chance one night, I was at my friend Collin Jenkins' apartment and we were flipping through the channels on his flat screen TV [cutting edge technology for a law student in 2004]. Collin let the channel linger a little longer than normal on a particular show. I recognized it immediately and realized, perhaps, that we'd shared the same dirty little secret. I'm not sure how it unfolded, but before we knew it, Collin & I opened our closet doors and, instead of outing ourselves, I ran over into his and slammed the door shut. We were in it together. For those of you wondering, I'm not talking about THAT kind of closet. For Collin, "that" closet has never had a door on it, and he never really spent much time in it, except when we were in Acapulco and he was trying to find the right polo with an upright collar. As for my closet, I only have the kind with skeletons.
The closet at issue was the one where it's OK to be fascinated with the miracle of birth and it's up close and personal shots broadcast in a Reality TV format. Soon, it was like a secret meeting of the communist party, minus the soapboxes, special door knocks and, well, persecution. Collin and I holed up together every Monday night at 8 p.m. We watched Maternity Ward on TLC, which was, much to our delight, often followed by Special Delivery.
However, the comfort we so deeply shared began to give way to guilt and subversion. Our friend, Summer, would call frequently during these showings. She would call one of us. If she had no answer, she'd telephone the other. She didn't know we were together, although I'm sure she had her suspicions after awhile. One of us would answer and explain that we were hanging out or doing homework. This was odd, as we regularly hung out in a group and rarely did homework, unless it was the last 2 weeks of the semester. I could tell she felt slighted, hurt and, most of all suspicious. I'm sure she believed we were trying to "cut her out." It wasn't personal, we loved Summer and she loved us. But, she just wouldn't understand, couldn't accept our new preJunior High fascination with reproduction and birth. I think, mostly, we feared she would expose us to the "bad kids" crowd of the Law School, which was the very core of our being. Soon, we all but disbanded. We had things to do, people to see, drinks to imbibe, tshirt contests to enter into, boyfriends who smoked crack to deal with, men to take home, outfits to flit about town in, bar benches to dance on, etc.
Oceans apart, day after day, I'm slowly going insane. If I see you next to never, don't even say forever." Right Here Waiting, Richard Marx
Someday, Collin, it'll be you and me again. We're goin going to get thant band back together, even if it has to be by long-distance telephone television watching.
I miss you guys, Collin, Summer, Dawn, the "bad kids," the Governor (a/k/a Marisa), Ox, Nhan-Nhan, Jo, Max Power, Wichita Jason, Hot Guy, CRass, CHen, Chris, my beloved CandyManVandyFan. And, of course, Borris the Russian rogue and Chris H.,
1. I'm scared of possums. Yup, the animal that, when confronted, plays dead.
2. I loathe washing dishes so much that I threw away almost all of my dishes, pans, utensils, etc., from my last apartment when I moved because I couldn't bring myself to wash them. I refuse to admit how long they'd been in need of a drop of Palmolive (and an industrial strength dishwasher or sander).
3. I sleep with a down comforter in the summer (and spring, fall & winter), but have to have at least one leg out as a body heat regulator.
4. I used to be the ultimate L.A. Lakers fan in Junior High. I had the jacket, the earrings, the love. I used to cover my notebooks with the names of all the players and their numbers. I knew their statistics, their positions, their height, everything. I even know, to this day that non-factor reserve forward/center Eldon Campbell's jersey number was 45. My favorite player was Vlade Divac, #12, kind of because no one else would ever pick him as their favorite and I had to be different. I also liked Byron Scott, #4, but mostly because he was [is] one fine piece of athletic ass.
5. I can recite Pi to nine decimal points because I memorized it once in Junior High (for no good reason) and it's stuck. 3.141592654.
6. The Ultimate Weirdness: My guilty pleasure is crappy Television. (read examples to understand enormity of problem)
When I went to law school, I tried to hide my dirty little secret. After all, I was going to a place where no one knew my affinity for Welcome Back, Kotter and Quantum Leap. Finally, a clean slate. A fresh start. A chance at a new life.
"Joe Lies, Joe Lies" ['I have written 63 songs this year, all about Joe']
-Say Anything
During my first year, I was befriended by Summer Ayers, who approached me a few weeks into law school to inquire about my cast (I fell in a hole). Despite sensing the ambulance chaser vibe - i see her in class every day for weeks and NOW she says hello to me? - I gratefully accepted her as one of my first friends (I'd already been warmly accepted by CandyManVandyFan). Wichita Dawn was soon to join, even though she'd previously spurned my advances at conversation shortly after we entered the 1st circle of Hell. Soon, we were the best of friends, lounging on the patio outside, smoking together in the "cubby hole" on windy days, having lunch at the student union, etc.
However, I would frequently beg off lunch with Wichita Dawn and Summer Ayers a couple days a week, sneaking away to satisfy my needs. I covered my tracks with lies of homework and a need for a nap between early morning K and afternoon Torts. I wanted to tell them, but I just couldn't. I had very little street cred with them, as our relationship was so nascent. As an outsider, I needed to protect myself and my budding social life. I was new to the Big 12 arena. I didn't know what "Rock. Chalk." meant. I hadn't heard the term, "sorostitute" ever in my life. My accent still sounded suspiciously, "up north," as was pointed out to me everyday by some yahoo from places like Chilacothee, Joplin or Oskaloosa. So, I slunk away each time, hoping that my lies weren't detected or had given Wichita Dawn & Summer the sense that I no longer wanted to be "in."
So, each day, I secretly lived for the TLC Quintessential Quadruple Crown of daytime TV: A Makeover Story, A Dating Story, A Wedding Story and a Baby Story. With the door locked and the shades drawn, I nervously chain-smoked, alternating between feelings of contentment, guilty, and fear of discovery. I had wild visions of SA & DW innocently venturing over to my apartment, walking unassumingly through a neglectfully unlocked door, and immediately ending their friendship with me.
Then, I started drinking more and going to class less, so it wasn't an issue. I found a new passions: TGITs and hot Oklahoma/Kansas/Missouri boys, with an Australian thrown in their once for fun.
Confession Part II; Trapped in the Closet
Eventually, my addiction caught up with me again. This time, it would be a conspiracy. As if by chance one night, I was at my friend Collin Jenkins' apartment and we were flipping through the channels on his flat screen TV [cutting edge technology for a law student in 2004]. Collin let the channel linger a little longer than normal on a particular show. I recognized it immediately and realized, perhaps, that we'd shared the same dirty little secret. I'm not sure how it unfolded, but before we knew it, Collin & I opened our closet doors and, instead of outing ourselves, I ran over into his and slammed the door shut. We were in it together. For those of you wondering, I'm not talking about THAT kind of closet. For Collin, "that" closet has never had a door on it, and he never really spent much time in it, except when we were in Acapulco and he was trying to find the right polo with an upright collar. As for my closet, I only have the kind with skeletons.
The closet at issue was the one where it's OK to be fascinated with the miracle of birth and it's up close and personal shots broadcast in a Reality TV format. Soon, it was like a secret meeting of the communist party, minus the soapboxes, special door knocks and, well, persecution. Collin and I holed up together every Monday night at 8 p.m. We watched Maternity Ward on TLC, which was, much to our delight, often followed by Special Delivery.
However, the comfort we so deeply shared began to give way to guilt and subversion. Our friend, Summer, would call frequently during these showings. She would call one of us. If she had no answer, she'd telephone the other. She didn't know we were together, although I'm sure she had her suspicions after awhile. One of us would answer and explain that we were hanging out or doing homework. This was odd, as we regularly hung out in a group and rarely did homework, unless it was the last 2 weeks of the semester. I could tell she felt slighted, hurt and, most of all suspicious. I'm sure she believed we were trying to "cut her out." It wasn't personal, we loved Summer and she loved us. But, she just wouldn't understand, couldn't accept our new preJunior High fascination with reproduction and birth. I think, mostly, we feared she would expose us to the "bad kids" crowd of the Law School, which was the very core of our being. Soon, we all but disbanded. We had things to do, people to see, drinks to imbibe, tshirt contests to enter into, boyfriends who smoked crack to deal with, men to take home, outfits to flit about town in, bar benches to dance on, etc.
Oceans apart, day after day, I'm slowly going insane. If I see you next to never, don't even say forever." Right Here Waiting, Richard Marx
Someday, Collin, it'll be you and me again. We're goin going to get thant band back together, even if it has to be by long-distance telephone television watching.
I miss you guys, Collin, Summer, Dawn, the "bad kids," the Governor (a/k/a Marisa), Ox, Nhan-Nhan, Jo, Max Power, Wichita Jason, Hot Guy, CRass, CHen, Chris, my beloved CandyManVandyFan. And, of course, Borris the Russian rogue and Chris H.,
5 comments:
Collin will NEVER forgive you for outing him.
Oh yeah, and I miss "us" too. And yes, that includes you Summer. :)
Um, FTH, you outed Collin? That doesn't sound good, even if it's about the baby stories.
Thanks for doing the list. Oh and if you're extremely bored I suggest that you DO NOT read the blog that I wrote about the possum that was in our garage a couple of months ago. Such a vile creature!!
i like possums. they're cute. i saw one by the house last weekend.
when you think about your bad-tv watching just remember that i didn't hear about 9/11 until after the fact b/c i was too busy watching animal court (my dirty secret) and didn't see the news. wichita dawn had to call and tell me to turn the channel.
summer
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