Wednesday, June 25, 2008

So, Drastic Times....

I'm going in for a consultation on lap band surgery tomorrow. I've been struggling with weight for at least 22 years. Even when I lose weight, it comes back with a vengeance and the only benefit, regardless of the yo-yo, is that my boobs manage to get and stay bigger. However, it's only a matter of time before they're flap-jacks down to my waist. And by time, I mean probably twenty years or so, but still.

So, I spoke with HLC's mom who had the surgery, and she's all for it. And, unlike my mom, I don't feel judged by her. She has true empathy, and similar experiences with her own mother and her own weight battle. So, what the hell.

Here's the problem. I'm probably not fat enough to have the surgery. How ridiculous is that? You need to have a BMI of 40+. Me? I'm at 35.7. If your BMI is 35-40, you have to have one or two obesity related co-morbidity factors. Here are some of them and here's why I probably won't be considered to have any of them.

1. High blood pressure: Despite my best efforts at smoking a pack a day, I have LOW blood pressure.

2. Sleep apnea: Sleep study proved that I don't have sleep apnea (yet failed to discover anything related to my insomnia - thanks Trinity)

3. Prediabetes: Nope, completely normal blood sugar.

4. High cholestrol: again, despite my best efforts, normal cholestrol.

5. Asthma: Nope, again, despite my best efforts. I grew up in a polluted power plant/coal mine town and, again, I love the Marbs, but still no asthma.

6. Back pain: Yes, but related to my three-car pile up in April.

7. Joint pain: Yes, but related to my BROKEN ankle that was diagnosed 13 years after the fact and my knee surgery, both from ski injuries. And, unfortunately, I did not fall because I was too fat.

8. Thyroid: completely normal (much to my mother's disappointment, both times I've had it tested in my life)

9. Depression: Not weight-related. Just life-related, and probably genetic.

10. Maybe the fact that my grandmother was a trainwreck of a human speciment might help. Heart disease, stroke and diabetes, along with an anxiety disorder. She's dead, of course (based on the above), but she hasn't seemed to have passed along any of those traits to her children.

11 My dad has high blood pressure but, as I indicated, but he's so type A that I don't know how he couldn't. And, who knows, maybe if I didn't smoke, my blood pressure would be so low I'd be dead. See No. 1, supra.

12. Gastric Reflux: Maybe, but I've already been diagnosed with an ulcer (I can't imagine why).

13. Anxiety disorder: check but, again, not weight related.

14. Insomnia: check, but not on the list of obesity-related factors.

Unfortunately, as my doctor told me a few years ago, with somewhat astonishment, I am "remarkably healthy." I just can't get control over the issue, and I'd like some assistance that's not in the form of a christmas gift of LA Weightloss. Yeah, I'm still a little bitter.

The downside is that I would have to give up food, diet coke and smoking. Those are all serious quality of life issues for me. I would love to give up the food, and I accept that the smoking has to stop. but the diet coke? really?

Here's some more info if you're curious.

http://www.lapband.com/get_informed/about_lapband/

I'll keep you posted.


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You can totally get your blood pressure up for your appointment. My boss is really good at raising bloodpressures. She says eat a lot of salt the day before and the day of and then call your 5 least favorite clients and try to talk to each of them for at least 20 minutes without hanging up on them in disgust, do this just prior to your appointment. That should do it. Then you'll have one of the factors.
ravenlou

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