Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!

How was your holiday? Mine was rather uneventful, aside from the animal farm frenzy. I decided it would be a good idea to take cram my jeep full of four suitcases, three cats, two brothers and one dog for the 225 mile trip (had to swing through the hometown to get brother no. 2).

I made it all the way to the hometown (45 miles into the trip) before anyone in the car shat themselves. Luckily, Esme managed to wait to relieve herself on the leather seats until I pulled into my parents' driveway. After a quick cleanup with some paper towels and windex (hey, the water was shut off, I didn't know what else to do), we added a litterbox to the mix and headed north. Brother no. 2 drove so I could sit in back and do some animal control.

At about mile 90, I reached over to pet Oscar and discovered some crust on his fur. Crust. A/k/a dried poop. Yes, Oscar regaled us with a dump of his own in his cat bed and ever so discreetly hid by laying atop of it. We pulled over so I could clean him up with some water and some more paper towels and Brothers 1 and 2 could get some fresh air. I rinsed off my hands with some bottled water and waited to put my hands near my face until I could wash my hands at the nearest gas station (only 45 minutes away).

Esme slept in the litter box most of the way, but the animals managed to control their bowels for the rest of the trip.

The next day, Ruby threw up in the hallway at the cabin. While she was galloping, apparently. I deduce this because her puke was spread out in a three-foot streak.

We then went for a solid two days without incident. Or, at least without a mess. Huxley spent a good part of each night barking at my brother's bedroom door while I slept blissfully unaware of his attempts to "warn" me of the intruder. Other than that, he relieved himself outside like a champ over the four days we were there.

Finally, it's Christmas Day and time to go home. As I was packing, I noticed that one of the cats had thrown up all over the back of the sofa in the family room. I quietly cleaned up the mess and left. Interestingly, neither of my brothers accepted a ride home with me.

We traveled 180 miles peacefully. And, after we got home, Huxley promptly threw up on the rug.

I'm pretty sure all five of us will not be invited back next year. They may only accept two of us. And, if it comes to a vote, I think I'll lose out to Oscar and Ruby. Yes, it'll be a pity vote and a beauty contest. Me, shitty cat and Barksalot will be at home spinning the dreidel with Tiki.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

In contrast, my angels made their 7 hour car trip perfectly. No one shit themselves, no one puked, and I was only mauled once while trying to sing If It Makes You Happy. Apparently, the cats disapprove of my singing for some reason. Sorry about your troubles.
ravenlou

Anonymous said...

Well, I can relate. Except I think would rather have pooping and puking cats than my reality of puking 14 mo. old twins with diarrhea. And then catching the virus myself. It was a wonderful holiday I would rather not repeat. The up-side, we didn't have to travel, thank goodness!