Today is the 1st anniversary at my job. Yea!!!! But, there's a problem. You guys, I'm restless. Like, "needing to move" restless. I'm feeling the dull ache of the need go somewhere new and also feeling slightly suffocated. I don't feel like I need to leave tomorrow, but the thought of being here in 3-5 years is, well, quite disenchanting. I've grown bored of Minot (OK, I've never gotten above the boredom), but now it seems as though it will be perpetual. I mean, can Tivo really sustain a person? Can dining at Applebee's and going to bars with men in tapered-leg jeans and Nascar t-shirts really be good for the soul?
Maybe it's a balance. I've spent more time in my apartment in the last year (ok, 4, with the exception of the "jason" period) than I did in 7 years of college/law school. I've also spent more time alone during that time period, too. So, over the last 10 years, I've probaly spent a normal amount of time in my own residence. Truth be told, I get restless, no matter what. I want to meet new people. But people like me. And I don't think they live here. If I can't have new friends, I want my old ones back.
So, this is the plan. All of you will quit your jobs and move to Minot by September 15. If you do not do so, I will imprison you at my summer bash and you will miss out on your last 6 weeks of civilization. You can bring your loved ones and your pets. Hell, you can bring strangers, as long as they're misfit toyland types. We will take over at least one bar in this town and populate it with our own kind. We will spawn children and, in 6 generations, we will have eradicated the ills of this town. Long after we're dead, the Magic City will be filled with bright, unmotivated binge-drinkers that laugh at obscure humor and feel bad if they lose at a game of trivial pursuit.
If you fail to follow my plan, you will be forced to listen to me complain and/or move to a town near year, only to load up my unpacked boxes and head off to the next town after a few years. By then, I should be able to waive my bar admission into most states and I'm coming after you. And, just maybe, the law firm of Oxford Goetz Williams & Henderson, P.C. will exist in Texarkana (TX or AK, we're not sure yet). OK, Williams never agreed to that, but someone's gotta do the work. Someday. Someday.
4 comments:
Mike already wants to kill me some days for moving to the Capital city - I can't imagine if we moved to the Magic City :)
Plus, there's a murderer on the loose in my 'hood.
Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.
To Rodrigo...
Que?
-M.O.M.
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