Gratitude

So, I was watching Oprah the other day (surprising, right?) and she said something very profound. I'm paraphrasing because I have a visual, not auditory, part-time photographic memory: "You should always be grateful when you get fired."

At first, I thought that was total bullshit. Then, I received by mail yet another court order from a case I had 10 months ago at my last job 500 miles away from here. The job I was fired from for, among other things, smoking too much and taking long lunch breaks. BTW, I don't even eat lunch. But that's besides the point. Anyway, in an on-going saga where my old firm has been completely inept at changing over the attorney of record, I huffed my usual angry sigh and picked up the phone. I spoke to my old law clerk/job stealer, since he's now filling my mary janes. I have to admit, it was cathartic.

Rob and I had an amiable relationship when we worked together and, while he wasn't particularly brilliant, he was a hard worker, never complained, and helped me get caught up on all 30 files that were on my desk when I arrived. He also saved my ass on my first day of court, which was also my first day on the job, because he'd actually had time to read the file before walking into the courtroom. So, I realized my bitterness about the whole situation was misplaced. It wasn't his fault that he took what was offered to him. Self-preservation, I guess.

Anyway, Rob and I chatted for a bit about life, the office and my old cases that were still lingering. He was overwhelmed and, like me at that firm, practicing only legal triage where you slapped a band-aid on almost anything for a few hundred bucks. It was a high-volume, low-income kind of practice. I mean, I think I used Westlaw only twice when I was there. Otherwise I was running from county to county, courthouse to courthouse, or appointment to appointment with potential clients, up to 5 a day. My appointment calendar was often filled up to the point where I wondered when I actually get any real work done. But, just to clarify, I did get it done since, again, my work wasn't the issue for my canning.

Anyway, at the end, I felt at peace about the whole situation. I mean, I'd still like to rip the face off the partner that canned me for bullshit reasons in order to hire Rob at a lower salary and buy a house and a dog a week after my departure. But, I also knew then, and remembered now, that I had to get out of there. It's pretty bad when even your parents are telling you to jump ship, despite the fact that you've only worked there for a few months after being laid off for two from the previous job. I mean, they were willing to risk the fact that I could end up in their basement with three cats and a bitter child.

I am grateful for that fuck-face firing me. I am grateful for getting laid off at my previous firm after the case I was working on settled. I wasn't happy at either place, yet I waited because of promises made that, if I suffered through the bad, I'd be rewarded with the good. It was kind of like that bullshit about the meek inheriting the earth and seeking their rewards in heaven. What a waste if that isn't true.

I am now in a job where I don't wait for things to get better. Things are good, as is. There aren't any invisible dangling carrots masquerading as a silk stockings firm with an office in a glass tower with real work, internet access and no bald-mullet nazi roaming the halls. I also don't have drinks bi-weekly with a partner beggin me to stay with the firm and promising me she'll buy fuck-face out and, that aside, telling me he could be embezzling from her. I don't get screamed at for forgetting a filing fee, I don't have quotas to meet, I don't have instructions to practice with a scorched earth policy. I don't have a boss digging through my mail and questioning staff in an effort to find a reason to fire me for cause. All goes to show that you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Or put lipstick on a pig to make it look better. Or whatever other stupid saying those situations merit.

Anyway, I thank Walnut & Gambron for laying me off. I am grateful for Fuck Face & Majority-Partner-Without-Funds-or-a-Spine-Who-Thinks-Fuck-Face-Is-Embezzling-But-Won't-Hire -an-Independent-Auditor for firing me. Now, that doesn't mean I'm going to send them a card or boquet of roses. It just means I won't fantacize about sending them a pipebomb or 700Club Daily Affirmations to their e-mail accounts.

Note: I said "fantacize" with regard to the pipebomb, NSA spies. I wouldn't really do it.

Gratitude. The Oracle has spoken.